Learning to say 'yes'

"Do what we say and you WILL become Beyonce...honest" (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don't buy magazines; magazines for women that is. Occasionally, however, I find myself at someone else's house, or in waiting room or something, and there they are all glossy and smiley with bright colours and 'superwoman' guides to being 'the best human being in the world...ever!' and I can't help but have a flick through.

This superficial glossy veneer is part of the reason I'm not a fan of them, but also, I recognise, part of their unique allure.  They give with one hand and take with the other...tell us we can have it all, then explain how to hold back.  'How to save for a rainy day' next to an editorial about £800 handbags...how to lose half a stone in three days two pages before a recipe for devil's food cake.  They love to tease and tantalise...but most of all they love to sell product.  That's the real game we buy into when we buy a magazine.  What we're really buying is a catalogue, a display of the things we need to have a perfect life.

...because looking great naked is the most important thing in the world to your feeble female brain... (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I could go on here...and another day I'm sure I'll write another post (rant) on deconstructing the women's magazine industry...but the real subject of this blog is one particular kind of article that really annoys me.  This is the 'just say no' article; the piece written to make you feel as though your busy, perhaps hugely fulfilling, but busy life is too much for you and that you should start refusing to do things (presumably so you can spend more time shopping for expensive face creams).  The chances are there are times when you do feel pretty overloaded and as though everyone wants a piece of you, but saying no is, for me anyway, by far the worse decision than saying 'yes' and having a go at something.

My default setting has always been 'yes'.  Saying no does not come easily to me.  If you are presented with an opportunity I say see it, take it, try it, and be prepared for death or glory.  It may not work out, but at least you gave it a go, eh?  You'll never reach your old age wondering what might have been.

The world is full of people who have learned to say no to things, learned not to take risks, learned not to see the opportunities that lie in every offer, every chance meeting.  We've learned to fear challenges instead of facing up to them. If you believe the magazines, saying no is the strong person's route, and saying yes is a sign of being downtrodden and put-upon,  but I'd argue that saying yes, on your own terms, is the sign of someone truly free.

Taking a risk every now and then is good for the soul - take it from someone who knows - I've taken more risks in my life than many and don't regret a single one, no matter how much trouble they've brought. So, don't believe the magazines. They want you to limit yourself; to take the easy route and self-medicate through retail therapy.

If you want a perfect life you're out of luck - it doesn't exist - but a happy life does, and a happy life for me is a fulfiling life full of challenge and opportunity.  A life where 'yes' is always the first choice.

Push on...